


Vivienne Lucienta Veronica Lilyanne Valentine Comes to Narnia

by Katarina



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Mary Sue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2095800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katarina/pseuds/Katarina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been a harrowing couple of weeks at Cair Paravel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vivienne Lucienta Veronica Lilyanne Valentine Comes to Narnia

**Author's Note:**

> My sister had dibs on the last hot dog and insisted that only fanfiction would make her renounce her claim. I asked if she would accept even bad Mary Sue fanfiction...then this happened. The hot dog was delicious.
> 
> Betaed (as well as paid for in hot dog) by lirin.

This record written down by the paw of Cecil the Badger, assistant scribe to the head record keeper of Cair Paravel.

It was in the third year of the reign of the Four in Cair Paravel, that as the kings and queens were in the throne room between audiences, a rainbow-coloured portal opened in the room and admitted a girl. She was very pretty, with perfectly blonde hair, bright red lips, large violet eyes, etc. Immediately she began enthusiastically to gush about her above assets, and all her other attributes, such as how she was absolutely perfect in every way, and also happened to be madly in love with King Peter. 

She continued on in this vein for some time, until Queen Lucy appeared behind her and hit her over the head with a frying pan, whereupon the girl (King Peter thought he had heard an introduction of Vivienne Lucienta Veronica Lilyanne Valentine) promptly disappeared in a shower of pink glitter. It is assumed that this was her way of transporting herself back to her own world. 

It is our hope that this is the last we see of her and her kind for a long while. After the one who came after King Edmund last week, and the twins the week before that who kept arguing about which king they preferred—actually ever since two months ago when a girl almost successfully kidnapped the High King—Queen Lucy has become an expert with the frying pan, and there is talk of including it as part of the army’s weapon training.

Aslan protect and guard our kings against all other lovestruck females.


End file.
